I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize