i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
