we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
