My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
