explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
