Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
not ubering you a puppy
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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