And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
