Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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