Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
