that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
