his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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