I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
