i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
