Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
