A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize