She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize