there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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