I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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