thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
