I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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