Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Watching her eat just hurts me
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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