Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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