I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
