i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
