Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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