Whatcha textin bout Willis?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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