You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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