Her vagina should come with caution tape.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
