I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
