so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
