Pappa wants mamma naked
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
