Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
