I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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