The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
operation harelip BJ is a go
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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