I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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