I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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