I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
