You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
