I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize