so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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