I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize