if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
