but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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