I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We don't watch enough power rangers
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
