I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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