I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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