I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
