My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
