I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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