Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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