I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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