Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
