I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
