I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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