i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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