Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
